I just got back from school. I'm feeling pretty bad - this entry will contain lots of angst about SCRABBLE so if you're in the mood to hear - read - me whine, no hard feelings. 
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Yeaniway, I got SECOND PLACE in Scrabble. I feel pretty shitty about it. There were four of us - one for each course - but it was clear that the only one I should worry about is the girl from Religious Ed.
Anyway, my tiles pretty much sucked the first round while hers could easily get a high score even without the help of colored boxes. I did my best, but she was still sixteen points ahead of me in the end. Honestly, the first game - I know I did my best so I don't feel bad about it. All my letters were either vowels or one-point letters (T,N,R).
The second game's where I messed up badly. My mom and Allen have been telling me over and over to exercise more PATIENCE but I really can't. That's like my next worst flaw to laziness. When I want something, I just go ahead and get it, not bothering to think if that's the best way to go or not.
So anyway, in the end, I was left with the letters G, I, and T. Easy, right? Not. This is the nearing the end, after all, so it's hard to look for available space. I knew there was a word 'git' - I read it in historical romances all the time - but I wasn't sure so I didn't dare use it.
Then came an opening. R. I could use it to make RIG and I did that right away. If I just thought about it a little bit more - like just maybe a few seconds more, playing around with my titles - I could have used that to make GRIT. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck!
If I did that, I'd have finished first and the total score of the remaining tiles of other players would be added to my score.
So with RIG, I was left with T. And I didn't bother thinking hard about where to place it. Which gave the Religious Ed girl the opening and she finished first. And got twelve points added to her score.
THE ENDING: I lost by ten freakin' points!
Ten!!!!!
I mean, IF I JUST BOTHERED TO BE MORE PATIENT AND THINK ABOUT MY TILES MORE but no, me being my usual impatient self, every time I spot something I think is good, I don't bother trying to think up of something better.
IT'S ALWAYS LIKE THIS. ALWAYS. ALWAYS. ALWAYS. I hope I learn from this. Like, permanently-no-stupid-Scrabble-relapse-slash-recidivism. Or for anything else. I'm like this with work, dealing with other people, myself ---- God, God, God, help me find the moral lesson in this!!!!
I feel sooooo ashamed, too. I write for a living and I lose in Scrabble and to a girl who's studying to love God more! I mean, no offense meant - of course there's no offense meant - but it feels so embarrassing! I feel like giving up my entire writing career - or whatever it is - because of this. Well, okay, not really, but that's going to be how I feel till...maybe...till I redeem myself somehow.
This goes to show that vocabulary power is not everything in Scrabble. I mean, hands down, my vocabulary was better than all of theirs combined - but that's to be expected since I need more words to earn - but strategy-wise, the Religious Ed girl was better. She spent more time thinking about her tiles, positioning, so on and so forth. Wah! This is why I suck so much in Chess.
I remember playing a game once - I forgot what, but it's something that Allen was better at - and he'd always exasperatedly tell me to spend more time planning my strategy because it's the absence of planning that kills me.
Haaaaaaaaay.
I really, really, really feel bad. Can somebody please help me have selective amnesia over this?!!!!!
A lot of things had happened.
I'm thinking of another excuse - how about if I say it would be unfair to others, considering I'm already a "professional" writer? I mean, it's like pitting a collegiate level bball player against a high school player? So not fair, right? I know, I know, it's going to make me look like I've got a swelling head, but technically - I do have a point, right?
That was really nice of them.